Tor Tourists Tortoised

Memories of the last enthralling match were in the front of my mind as I drove to the ground, slightly concerned that this time we were without the reliable Radford and the run-machine Rogers. My fears were confirmed when I arrived at the ground to find a bunch of twenty somethings kicking a ball around, so as we walked to the wicket to toss up I explained to Richard Drake that if we wanted the game to last they really ought to bat first. Mind you on a fair afternoon with rain forecast for later, he didn’t need much persuading.

The game got off to a controversial start with Mali appealing as he removed the bails and Birdseye appealing again since, to his old eyes, Drake still had his foot on the line but not behind it…. Or to put it another way he was as out as George Elton and Michael John, though to be fair the square leg umpire had to give the batsman the benefit of the doubt since he was standing in Hampshire J

Not to worry – Express bowled the next over from the Nursery End and with his shiny new boots on couldn’t put a foot wrong. Woods caught and bowled as calm as you like, followed in his 3^rd over with a wicket maiden – Edwards bowled. Drake settled in, playing the good ball watchfully and smacking the bad ball to the boundary.

Meanwhile the Silver Fox wheeled away from the Pavilion End and couldn’t contain himself when the ball hit the batsman’s foot and shouted so loudly in the umpire’s ear that he threw his hands up in shock and Dennis walked, thinking he’d been triggered.

Just as I was wondering how to get Mr Henwood involved in the action, Drake drove one just wide of him at mid on and Steve moved smartly to his right and clung on – Cap’n Drake trudged off in the direction of Plymouth Hoe… 40/1 had quickly become 41/4. Clutts was incorrigible as he bowled Mucklow with a full toss and ran off towards Stansted House shouting “What a plan, what a plan !” . The Fox then got his third as Spice called for “All Steam Aft” and stuck up a hand to claim the catch, back-peddling at mid on. Finally centurion Paterson came to the wicket and Skip couldn’t resist bringing himself on, still smarting from being hit out of the attack on tour, and promptly bowled him with his ‘yoyo’. It looked like the tail might wag as Easterbrook smote Birdseye for a straight six - well more of a twelve really – prompting Skip to take himself off, muttering “averages” under his breath ! However the rally was short lived as Kev and Hugh (2 for 11 off 5) soon finished them off , though JK needed a dress rehearsal for his catch (you really don’t need to keep your fines money in your flannels JK) and Bob caught his at the 3^rd attempt. It’s a funny old game … six weeks ago Paterson and Walpole scored 173 between them – this time just 17. It was one of those days – Clutterbuck 3/19 and Express 3/45 . Belstone all out for 101 in 26 overs. A surreal bowling performance.

After a sumptuous Black tea (it wasn’t just food, it was M & S food) it was time to see how the Old Es would get on against Easterbrook and Bushin. As expected the tall Easterbrook was pretty lively but thankfully most of our batsmen weren’t good enough to get an edge apart from Spice that is who fell in the 1^st over for a duck. JK joined Steve Henwood and set about the bowling in a modest way, JK favouring the off drive and Steve (after calling for the helmet) preferring the defensive prod. The pair added 20 before got one that lifted and gloved it to the keeper.

Steve Ashby was then bowled by a swinging Yorker 2^nd ball and all in the pavilion held their collective breath as Bob Mali walked out to join Steve. Everyone sensed this would be the key partnership and so it proved. Mali played and missed at a few and Steve gutsed it out until just before the openers finished their spell he decided to swish. Here came the 2^nd moment of controversy : the keeper caught the ball and everyone behind the bat went up in unison. Umpire Spice turned his back and Steve explained that he hadn’t felt the nick that had been heard by the crowd in the pavilion.

Yes .. really !

That was the final nail as Mali finished on 46 n.o. and Henwood a hard fought 38 n.o. Easterbrook was too good and finished with 1/8 whilst Bushin also excelled with 7 overs 2/26. In the bowling stakes it was definitely a case of the Tortoise beating the Hare ! (In all the time we have played each other - first in 1989 - I can’t remember us ever claiming all 10 Belstone wickets).

And so a good natured game came to an end and we retired to the Vic for a burger and a beer or two (jugs that is). The Belstone Fine Snitch did his best to empty their pockets and then Spice completed the job with a blackout that was won by the club.

As we finally waved the tourists on their way I couldn’t help feeling a sense of déjà vu – Belstone all out, Well Oiled Eldonians just 3 men down

Roll on next year